Sekai kawarazu. Watashi kawarazu.

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[meta month] meta derp part the first
Helden
sailorvfan10 wrote in kirakiraunmei
Okay so I am going to take up that meta month challenge thing at the urging of rethira and because all the cool people are doing it.

I decided something easy is in order, to start everything off.

HEADCANON DUMPING GROUND, Fire Emblem style
Sorted by universe, which is funny because I only have two.

Archanea
* Marth marries Caeda and they have two kids, a girl and a boy, named after Anri's epic brother (Marcellus) and the Brother Who Is Never Named (who I named "Marciel", which means 'slender'), respectively. Of course the princess of Altea there has the feminine form but yes
* though Marth is still a somewhat broken, maybe crazy mess, he does manage to get over some of his issues with Caeda's help, because Caeda is Marth's rock. Cain helps too. He's less self-destructive and finally grieved over his parents' deaths
* Marth shut himself in his quarters for two weeks following Jagen's death; he took it especially hard since Jagen was like a father to him
* Cain happily takes over Jagen's duties because he's, you know, Cain. And therefore, very awesome.
* When Marciel (Marth's son) is sixteen, Marth gives him the throne and runs off to Altea with Caeda so he can die happily.
* Marth dies in his late thirties/early forties to natural causes of sorts, leaving behind Caeda and his children
* Caeda goes back to Talys and finds Ogma; they have a hand-fasting ceremony and a daughter named Misha together
* Merric runs off with Linde because he and Elice realise they just Do Not Work and decide to just be buddies
* Cain shacks up with Elice instead
* Cain outlives most of Marth's entourage because he is just that awesome
* Abel and Est have problems but they are somehow married
* Abel dies in a skirmish along the Altean border; no one knows if said skirmish even existed, and he didn't just fall on his own sword a la Lawrence
* Abel never forgave himself for betraying his liege in the first place
* Before Elice, Cain had a brief thing with Catria, and they have a daughter together.
* Said daughter marries Marciel, because that thing doesn't run in families at all, no sir.
* IRONICALLY ENOUGH, MARCELLA RUNS OFF WITH MYUNIT'S SON because my muse is horrible
* said relationship does not work out and she runs away with Merric's son instead; they have three kids
* Michalis dies shortly after FE12 after a conquest failed and he was assasinated
* Minerva had a brief stint in a convent before realising her people needed her, so she decided to run on back home; though not the best queen in the universe, she ruled fairly and with a firm hand
* Draug and Norne got married and had a couple of kids
* Draug shortly thereafter dies of illness
* She then runs off with Gordin because, hey, archers
* Marth's son flies off to Talys (yes, there are totally male pegasus knights stfu) and meets Misha
* SCANDAL because dude, that is your half-sister!
* Marciel does not care, and he has three illegitimate children with her lol
* Cain and Catria's daughter (and Marciel's wife) dies young and childless due to illness that was probably consumption
* Marciel and Misha marry each other and no one cares they are half-siblings because this is FE and that type of thing is normal
* Marciel does not like the sword at all, and prefers the lance because he is normally a top a pegasus, though he spears people without one
* Thus, he had Falchion's blade broken in two and put into a lance and a rapier, for himself (as only dudes can really wield Falchion) and for his sister (the sole sword wielder)
* Marth spent most of his life in Altea's library because, you know, heir to Anri's crap and all that jazz
* There is a rather large age gap between Marth and Elice because Liza had problems conceiving
* Marth is a total mama's boy and Elice spoiled him rotten
* Because Marth's bloodline is not known for magic, and magic in Altea is rare to begin with, he can't really tolerate it well. And by "can't really tolerate it", I mean he can't tolerate it worth a damn. Using a Heal staff on him is bloody murder.
* Merric, when first learning magic, started with Fire tomes. He set a tree in Altea's gardens on fire once and it just missed Elice.
* He also accidentally burned Marth's hands, causing some bad scarring
* this is the reason Marth wears gloves
* he also has a scar on his shoulder from a sparring lesson with Cain
* and another slicing through his calf in a Gra soldier's attempt to cut his hamstring so he wouldn't be able to escape to Talys; Cain managed to save Marth from that by pulling him ahorse
* said injury still nicked a nerve, and from time to time it causes Marth pain
* this isn't counting all the scars from both wars, of which he has many
* only Caeda knows those are there, though, because she was usually the one bandaging them
* Merric was Marth's first kiss, and the story is long and rather embarrassing--for Marth.
* Mostly because Marth actually enjoyed it and there was tongue the second and third times.
* The fourth, fifth, and sixth times there was groping in the library.
* I won't go into details what happened the seventh, eight, ninth, and tenth times, but two of them were in the library, one was in the stables, and the other was in Marth's private chambers; I'm sure you can guess, though
* Cornelius thought Marth was going to end up being an archer because he is actually a pretty decent shot with a bow and even better with a crossbow
* he had nightmares about it for weeks until Marth picked up his first sword, weighed it in his hands, and said something felt "right" about it
* Suffice to say, Cornelius was very relieved, because there would have been scandal (in his mind) if his son, heir to House Altea, descendant of King Anri the Hero, was not a sword user
* Marth, on the other hand, didn't mind having a son who was a pegasus knight and a daughter who had a penchant for the sword
* he had his son learn the sword anyway, just so he'd be more "balanced"
* Marciel has never actually used a sword in combat because he does not feel comfortable with it
* Marth's son favours him in looks, save for having Caeda's nose and a nice blend of their hair colours; Marcella favours both Caeda and Elice, but has Grandmother Liza's smile (which Marth also got, but he doesn't really smile much), and her hair favoured Caeda's when she was younger, more like Marth's when she's older. Marcella is more like Marth in terms of disposition, but she has Caeda's wit; Marciel has Caeda's sense of humour and Aunt Elice's disposition, though he also has moments reminiscent of Marth and Caeda

Elibe
* Eliwood does not die, because he is a badass with a Falcon Sword
* Eliwood also has two marriages after FE6 because he is awesome like that: Fiora, who already had two children from a previous marriage (her husband died in that whole Bern thing), and Rebecca. Rebecca was after Fiora died due to sickness.
* Eliwood was Rebecca's first actual marriage; Wil fathered Wolt, and Lowen helped her raise him after Wil left to find Rath (and he died in Sacae).
* Roy and Wolt were not bothered by becoming stepsiblings at all, since they were pretty much 'brothers' anyway.
* Marcus was the oldest knight in all of Lycia.
* Wallace was right after him.
* Despite his age, Marcus didn't ever truly 'retire' like he kept saying he would
* he only really 'retired' after Eliwood kicked the bucket and Roy urged him to
* Wolt took over Marcus's knightly duties; Marcus was just Roy's advisor
* Roy and Lilina had a son
* then they got married lol
* Matthew lives until a ripe old age, and dies under the service of Pherae-Ostia; Chad and Cath are both of his children with two different women--Chad's mother was a fling; Cath was his daughter with Serra before they divorced on mutual terms
* Serra's second marriage was to Oswin, wherein she gave birth to Bors and Wendy
* Erk and Nino got married and had the twins; Jaffar came with them to help babysit.
* Lucius and Raven pretty much ran off into the sunset together, only to both be killed in that whole Bern thing
* Priscilla and Guy are Rutger's parents. Guy died in Sacae; Priscilla ran off to Bern, hence why Rutger believes he is part Bernese
* Priscilla met up with Sain in Bulgar and went off into the sunset
* Kent married Fiora and died in the fight against Bern (in Ilia); Fiora, as we know, ended up with Eliwood shortly before dying herself
* Lyn married Rath and gave birth to Sue
* Rath also died in the whole thing with Bern and Sacae--or so everyone believes
* Lyn and Wil met up and eloped
* Clarine has this incestuous thing for her brother
* She eventually gets over it enough to fall for Rutger, and they get married after FE6 ends
* Hector married Florina, betches
* his wife's death shook him to his core, and though he pretended otherwise, he was never really the same (I mean he grew a beard!)
* The reason Hector did not die immediately was because Oswin took the brunt of the blow for him

...I think that's all! :D

That's just for Fire Emblem too.

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I like the part about Abel falling on his own sword... maybe. Poor man.

LOL at Roy and Lilina.

Thus, he had Falchion's blade broken in two and put into a lance and a rapier, for himself (as only dudes can really wield Falchion) and for his sister (the sole sword wielder)

So, are THESE the Sacred Blue Sword and the Red Demon Lance? And they end up in Elibe?


Well actually I was playing with the idea that the lance and rapier eventually end up in Magvel due to my whole Archanea -> Magvel theory, but that could work too.

I'm still laughing days later at what the kids get up to.

I think the kids' shenanigans are pretty awesome. And also hilarious. And people said Celice was related to half of the continent...

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